Let me preface: this is meant as a parody. Growing up, I loved lists like How to Explain Different Economic Systems with Two Cows. This is in that vein.

With the upcoming holiday season approaching, you will likely be asked by friends or family the “So what do you do?” question. Unlike many other jobs (e.g. doctors, lawyers, software engineers), Recruiting Operations and Recruiting Coordination aren’t necessarily known more widely. Since there are so many things we do, here are several ways you can distill it for multiple audiences:

To Your Parents

1. Recruiters = Salespeople. Recruiting Operations = Sales support. My job is to make sure the people selling you the product have everything they need to give you a great experience.

2. You know how you ask me to reset the WiFi or what the password is for Netflix? My job is to do that for a Recruiting Team and candidates on a daily basis. I also create reports about that data.

To Your Grandparents

You know the quote about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers? The one that goes, “Sure he was great, but don’t forget that Ginger Rogers did everything he did… backward and in high heels”? The Recruiting Team is Fred Astaire. I’m Ginger Rogers.

To Your Siblings (Older-Same Age)

Remember the last time you interviewed for a job? Someone found you and someone else handled the logistics? I’m the latter. My job is coordinating all those logistics and building systems to make it easier and faster.

To Little Kids

Recruiting is like a train system. Recruiters are train cars that take passengers to different job stations. My job is to build and fix the tracks so that everything runs smoothly and on time.

To American Football Fans

I’m like a mix of a lineman and safety. You generally don’t hear or see what I do unless something goes spectacularly right or spectacularly wrong.

To Movie Fans

Recruiting is MI6. A recruiter’s job is to be James Bond. My job is to be Q. 

To Gearheads

I’m a mechanic for the Recruiting team at a company.

To Musicians

I’m the roadie of the Recruiting team.

To Bartenders/Mixologists

• 1 part chaos

• ½ parts control

• ¼ part systems magician

• ¼ part programmatic maven

• ¼ part statistician

  Shaken, not stirred, served over ice in a coupe glass with a lemon twist.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn on 11/21/2022.

Disclaimer: The views expressed and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and they do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer, or company. Assumptions made in the analysis are not reflective of the position of any entity other than the author. Since we are critically-thinking human beings, these views are always subject to change, revision, and rethinking at any time. Please do not hold them in perpetuity.